“A thousand men, say, go searchin' for gold. After six months, one of them's lucky: one out of a thousand. His find represents not only his own labor, but that of nine hundred and ninety-nine others to boot. That's six thousand months, five hundred years, scramblin' over a mountain, goin' hungry and thirsty. An ounce of gold, mister, is worth what it is because of the human labor that went into the findin' and the gettin' of it.”

– Howard

“Right now, I don't know if it's me or the dynamite that doin' all that sweatin'.”

– Jake Sharp

A voyage of discovery on the start of Francis Drake's circumnavigation. Children, ignored by their ever-busy parents, set sail to the Seventh Continent.

Leave it to popular media to create a fashion for helplessness. In the 110 years that have passed since William Randolph Hearst's titular heroine fought her way to #emancipation in The Perils of Pauline (1914), “the damsel in distress” is still very much the go-to trope for movie writers. Sadly, instead of debunking the belief that women need to be protected by men from men, it's now embraced by third wave feminism. Just yesterday – November 25, 2023 – I saw a call to arms from a leftwing feminist group to “protect girls” from the primal evil that is manhood. Oh how we did better once.

“I don't know what to do with her Highness. Say right and she'll go left, say left and she'll go right. And though she is a girl, she has never shown me a tear.”

– old lady-in-waiting

In Kurosawa's 隠し砦の三悪人, a couple of greedy peasants escort a man and woman across enemy lines after the man has promised them a share of the gold they're carrying. Unknowingly, the fools not only protect their bounty, but a general and princess trying to escape an enemy clan so they can rebuild their kingdom. And also unbeknownst to the tricksters, Makabe and Yuki are not as helpless as they may seem.

One day, a large blimp shows up over a small Bulgarian village. The townspeople, seeing the prosperity in all that beautiful silk and then some, go after it.

“It was fear that created the first gods.”

– Stratius

A little boy and his dog are invited over by the Man in the Moon himself. The trip to the Moon is a big adventure for the drowsy duo and they meet peculiar flora, fauna and men along the way, lifted straight from the Great Moon Hoax.

“You and I may dream of gold or grocery bills — but when a child slaps Morpheus on the back and says 'Hello, old man' — well it's a different story.”

– opening title card

Post-McCay's serial Little Nemo in Slumberland (1905) and pre-Fleming & Cukor's The Wizard of Oz (1939), William A. O'Connor is heavily indebted to both. Which doesn't make his short Art Deco-styled science fiction fantasy any less magical.

Dan Duyu's 盘丝洞 is, in its most literal sense, a fantastic silent interpretation of Wu Cheng'en's 西遊記 / Journey to the West. Monk Tang Sanzang (Meikang Jiang) finds himself trapped in a cave with seven beautiful sisters. Two of Tang Sanzang's faithful disciples, Sun Wukong (the Monkey King) and Zhu Bajie (Pigsy: half man, half pig), need to save him before one of the sisters takes the celibate monk as her husband. What follows is a vigorous display of #wuxia, horror, monkey shenanigans, and – during the pandemonium unfolding in the final act – a small glimpse into the vast pantheon of China's gods and demons.

“Today is our Queen's wedding day, let us drink it up!”

Note that some of the reels are still missing, and the English translation I found is subjective at best, so have a translation app at the ready. Nevertheless, take a moment to dim the lights, and accompany Tang Sanzang, the Monkey King, and Pigsy on their pilgrimage. Even if only for a little while.

“Say, mister. Will you stake a fellow American to a meal?”

– Dobbs