Where the Boys Are is chock-full of characters whose names appear to be straight space-travel-lifted from various #JohnWaters' movies: Tuggle Carpenter! TV Thompson! Lola Fandango! Dr. Raunch for Chrissakes!

“The boys come to soak up the sun, and a few carloads of beer. The girls come, very simply, because this is where the boys are.”

– narrator

We follow four female midwestern college students on #SpringBreak in Fort Lauderdale. Their objective is boys boys boys (and an even tan) and nothing, including being too young to drink, can stop them. This was one of the first post-Hayes Hollywood movies to address teenage sex yet despite all the innuendo (“What's your shoe size?” “13.” “Get in the car!”), it's all pretty clean. But without these girls, there wouldn't be any Dawn Davenport. And that would've ruined everybody's Christmas.

Dan Duyu's 盘丝洞 is, in its most literal sense, a fantastic silent interpretation of Wu Cheng'en's 西遊記 / Journey to the West. Monk Tang Sanzang (Meikang Jiang) finds himself trapped in a cave with seven beautiful sisters. Two of Tang Sanzang's faithful disciples, Sun Wukong (the Monkey King) and Zhu Bajie (Pigsy: half man, half pig), need to save him before one of the sisters takes the celibate monk as her husband. What follows is a vigorous display of #wuxia, horror, monkey shenanigans, and – during the pandemonium unfolding in the final act – a small glimpse into the vast pantheon of China's gods and demons.

“Today is our Queen's wedding day, let us drink it up!”

Note that some of the reels are still missing, and the English translation I found is subjective at best, so have a translation app at the ready. Nevertheless, take a moment to dim the lights, and accompany Tang Sanzang, the Monkey King, and Pigsy on their pilgrimage. Even if only for a little while.

“Clicks, clacks, riding the backs of giraffes for laughs, S'alright for a while, The ego sings of castles and kings, And things that go with a life of style, Wanting to feel, to know what is real, Living is a, is a lie”

– The Monkees, Porpoise Song (1968)

“Today over lunch I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men by holding a humorous, round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission. My overtures were brutally rejected. These men do not want a happy ship. They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable.”

– Sgt. Pinback's video diary

On the other end of outer space, far far away from existentialist odysseys and crypto-fascist space operas, there's a little stoner cosmos where a small, dilapidated starship manned by long-haired freaks drifts about.

“You know, I wish I had my board with me… even if I could just wax it once in a while.”

– Lt. Doolittle

Dark Star started out as a highly ambitious, underfunded student film that, in a blessed pre-Lucas, pre-blockbuster universe, got recognised for its #counterculture glory. In the early 70s, when #surfing was not yet mainstream and a handful of restless pioneers continued west despite the lack of mainland, a cross-pollination between beach blond daredevils and stoner culture happened.

Carpenter's laidback space odyssey fully embraces the beach bum spirit; it's meandering, incoherent, and whatever the superlative of no-budget may be. With at its core: #boredom, the most honest form of cinema.

“No, Wagner! Stay in Hell where you belong!”

– Franz Liszt

“As I want it, so it will be!”

– George McWhirter Fotheringay