What would you do if someone sends you a mysterious jade mask that, according to the ill-fated now-dead previous owner, causes terrifying nightmares? Well, you put it on, now! In the name of science Dr Allan Barnes (Paul Stevens) does exactly that and transports him and us – wearing our own Magic Mystic Masks – to a hallucinatory dreamworld with Zardoz-styled floating skulls and their robed devotees.

“Put the mask on, now!”

– recurring on-screen prompt

Julian Roffman's The Mask is an extremely watchable psychotronic affair. The 3D effects during the nightmarish Andreas Vesalius-inspired sequences are well implemented and yes, there's stuff flying at you for all the right reasons. Not quite #WilliamCastle gimmicky, but made with lots of love for the potential of 3D.

Where the Boys Are is chock-full of characters whose names appear to be straight space-travel-lifted from various #JohnWaters' movies: Tuggle Carpenter! TV Thompson! Lola Fandango! Dr. Raunch for Chrissakes!

“The boys come to soak up the sun, and a few carloads of beer. The girls come, very simply, because this is where the boys are.”

– narrator

We follow four female midwestern college students on #SpringBreak in Fort Lauderdale. Their objective is boys boys boys (and an even tan) and nothing, including being too young to drink, can stop them. This was one of the first post-Hayes Hollywood movies to address teenage sex yet despite all the innuendo (“What's your shoe size?” “13.” “Get in the car!”), it's all pretty clean. But without these girls, there wouldn't be any Dawn Davenport. And that would've ruined everybody's Christmas.

Date watched, not the date in the movie. The quote was too good to leave it off this blog.

– He's got a calendar in there. – What day is it? – It's a broad in a cowboy hat. – Scooby doo bi doo ba ba.

Both anticapitalist and pre-Stanley space odyssey. Based on Stanislaw Lem's Obłok Magellana [The Magellanic Cloud] (1955).

“I'm looking for the Hitchcock residence.”

– Duke

“I still can't figure out if it's an office, a market place, or a boxing ring. And maybe I don't even need to.”

– Vittoria

Otsuya's (Ayako Wakao) is forced into #prostitution and marked with a large spider tattoo. As the figure slowly takes shape under horishi Seikichi's skilled hands, Otsuya too transforms.

“Yes, I'm afraid of death… but for a humble secret agent that's a fact of life, like whisky. And I've drunk that all my life.”

– Lemmy Caution