Just before leaving home for a business trip, a father asks his three daughters what he can bring them as a return gift. The eldest two ask for silly, extravagant things. A monkey! A parrot! The youngest simply wishes the most beautiful flower which the father finds in an enchanted garden, guarded by a terrible beast. And will pay for with his life unless he gives his youngest away to the beast, to die in his place.

– Can such miracles really happen? – You and I are living proof.

#Cocteau and Clément's La Belle et la Bête is of course based on Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve's fairy-tale, which on its turn was based on the classic myth of Cupid and Psyche.

In the soul crushing future of 1999, one heroic nuclear family bravely fulfils their gender-specific duties. While Father Mike works in his computer-aided office, Son Jamie fails at computer homeschool and Mother Karen slavishly shops, cooks, and cleans as if the 70s never happened.

 

Thankfully, the future turned out to be even bleaker.

It's not possible to be in nature, one can only be absorbed by it.

“The vicinity is reknowned for its venomous snakes and poisonous ants of various species. It is, however, a geological marvel.”

– Mrs. Appleyard

Leave it to popular media to create a fashion for helplessness. In the 110 years that have passed since William Randolph Hearst's titular heroine fought her way to #emancipation in The Perils of Pauline (1914), “the damsel in distress” is still very much the go-to trope for movie writers. Sadly, instead of debunking the belief that women need to be protected by men from men, it's now embraced by third wave feminism. Just yesterday – November 25, 2023 – I saw a call to arms from a leftwing feminist group to “protect girls” from the primal evil that is manhood. Oh how we did better once.

“I don't know what to do with her Highness. Say right and she'll go left, say left and she'll go right. And though she is a girl, she has never shown me a tear.”

– old lady-in-waiting

In Kurosawa's 隠し砦の三悪人, a couple of greedy peasants escort a man and woman across enemy lines after the man has promised them a share of the gold they're carrying. Unknowingly, the fools not only protect their bounty, but a general and princess trying to escape an enemy clan so they can rebuild their kingdom. And also unbeknownst to the tricksters, Makabe and Yuki are not as helpless as they may seem.

A little boy takes in the magic of pre-Christmas, while the adults rush and worry about all that must to be bought.

“So will someone tell me what happened or not? A brother shouldn't turn against his brother. And a guest shouldn't turn against a guest.”

– the host

In my book, entrepreneur is just a fancy talk for conman. A famous one, the one who may've tried to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge, was George C. Parker. He'd peddle the famous landmark to any hapless rube, immigrant, or sucker who then would promptly erect a little tollbooth to make a fast buck from any hapless rube, immigrant, or sucker.

“Selling the Brooklyn Bridge again, huh?”

– Police captain Jim McCarey

Like Parker, Mae West's Peaches O'Day bamboozles it her way. And boy, does she have a bridge to sell you!

Two hopelessly lonely hearts meet each other at Coney Island, spending the most wonderful day in each other's company. Pál Fejős' joyful Lonesome was made just when motion pictures became talkies, and new and more modern novelties were expected by the audience. Fejős delivers, with sound and musical inserts, and the occasional – almost shocking – burst of colour.

– Nice day, isn't it? – Yes, isn't it! – It's swell. It's perfect.

With light touches of Murnau's groundbreaking Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927) and Jean Vigo's more experimental À propos de Nice (1930), Lonesome depicts the exuberance of youth with an optimism soon to be lost to the vices of history.

It's just a little game. But then you wonder if Ouija, the Wonderful Talking Board is actually just that. Two neat little ladies playing that quirky 1891 novelty game in Roland West's The Bat Whispers summon the aforementioned bat, black-clad fiend and Batman predecessor.

– Get the Ouija board. – It's got the Bible on top of it, keeping it quiet.

Who is he? What does he want? And how can he be stopped? Do you know the answer?

YES		NO
	GOOD BYE